Meditating Is Hard
A lot of first responders we’ve worked with are reluctant to even try meditating. For the ones who try and then give up on it, we hear some of the same reasons why it didn’t work over and over: I can’t sit still that long;, I can’t clear my mind; I’m too busy, too tired, too restless.
Not everything works for everyone, but there’s so much evidence on the benefits of meditation that it’s worth giving a try. So here are some some strategies that might help if any of these common complaints come up for you.
I can’t sit still.
Of course you can’t – that’s why you became a first responder and not an accountant. A lot of clients I work with are so accustomed to always being on the go – running from call to call on the job, chasing kids or trying to fit in all the errands at home – that sitting still for even ten minutes feels daunting. There are different approaches you can try if you feel restless as soon as you sit down to meditate.
Try this:
Start small – I start my clients at five minutes a day. The morning is usually best because it’s a powerful way to start your day and you’re more likely to miss an afternoon or evening session when the day gets busy.
If even that sounds impossible start with a one-minute meditation and then increase it to two minutes the next week and so on until you can do ten minutes.
Physical pain stops me.
This is very real and all-too common among first responders. Meditation is about healing – both mind and body. It is fine to make any adjustments to avoid sitting in a position that might exacerbate any physical pain. Of course, many of us have chronic pain that is always present, in any position. If that’s the case for you, sitting quietly without any distractions might heighten your experience of pain.
If you are accustomed to ignoring, tolerating, or pushing past pain, even noticing it might be uncomfortable for you. That is not unusual. Part of the practice of meditation is just noticing and accepting what is there, without needing to do anything to change, fix, or overcome it.
Try this:
Make any adjustments you need to make to accommodate your needs – you can benefit from meditation no matter what physical adjustments you make – you can sit on a pillow or in a chair or recliner, sit up or lie down, move, stretch, or change positions. Practice listening to and trusting your body. Just be sure that this is still focused meditation, not a nap.
My mind won’t stop racing.
There’s a proverb that say to control the mind is like trying “to control a drunken monkey that has been bitten by a scorpion” – which sounds about right to me. Add trauma and hypervigilance – constantly scanning the environment for potential threats – and of course it seems hopeless to try to stop our minds from racing.
The thing is – it is hopeless. Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “When you notice that the mind has a life of its own and wanders here and there, keep in mind that this is just what minds do, so there is no need to judge it.”
The point is not to stop our thoughts from occurring – but to practice letting them go by. According to Headspace in guidance on Meditation for Beginners, “People might associate meditation with sitting in silence and stopping all of our thoughts and feelings to become calm. But that’s not how the mind works, and neither does meditation. Rather than trying to stop our thoughts, we practice letting thoughts come and go.” The irony is that after a short time you’ll notice your mind is calmer all day.
Try this:
Check out this video from Headspace that recommends thinking of those racing thoughts like watching traffic go by. It’s just over a minute and worth every second.
Here’s another quick video about “noting” those thoughts.
I don’t have time.
I know how busy my clients are – juggling shift work, a family, a house, maybe a side job. You’re reading this because you’re interested and probably know that you need to do this. We need to make this a priority so that we can manage the rest of our lives well. Ten minutes a day really can produce some significant results.
Try this:
Again, start small. You can make this work starting with just a few minutes a day.
Pair meditating with something you already do every day – meditate while your coffee brews, or right before or after you brush your teeth or take a shower. Then it’ll just be a small add to something you don’t even have to think about doing – not an extra thing to schedule and remember to do.
I’m not into that woo-woo stuff.
It might be time to rethink meditation. The military, professional athletes, and many major corporations have used mindfulness and meditation programs and there are countless scientific studies on its benefits.
Try this:
Rename it. If you aren’t comfortable with “meditation,” how about just taking a pause, sitting, badass breathing - whatever works for you.
Think of meditation as active recovery for your brain, the same way we do active recovery workouts for our bodies.
Remember that meditating is different than breathing exercises or just relaxing. It is a dedicated time, undistracted, and focusing on your breath or the guidance of a recorded meditation.